Why do I call it a necessary evil? Well that is because it is.
We all know that change is necessary but it is sometimes one of the hardest things to do. Change can sometimes feel very evil and there is plenty of reason for that.
What is change? Change is the process of becoming different. And that is not as easy as we like to think it is.
Here is one example of how difficult it must be:
"Roughly 600,000 people have bypasses a year in America. These people are told...that they must change their lifestyle. The heart bypass is a temporary fix. They must change their diet. They must quit smoking and drinking. They must exercise and reduce stress. In essence, the doctors say, "Change or die." You would think that a near-death experience would forever grab the attention of the patients...You would think the argument for change is so compelling that the patients would make the appropriate lifestyle alterations...Ninety percent of the heart patients do not change...Change is that difficult."**
Mind blowing isn't it.
Why is it when we know that something needs to change, we continue the same old way. Stuck in rut. Are we really that stupid. Well....of course not.
It is difficult to change and that is all there is to it. It is not easy, it hurts and makes us feel extremely uncomfortable. And here is why:
"For every known element in our life, we have an existing neural representation in the form of people, things, times, places and events, and each neural representation connects every person, place, thing, time and event to a specific feeling."*
Therefore everything we do, everyone we interact with, those thoughts are connected to a feeling. A neural connection. Each time we make change to any of those elements, we are creating a physical chemical change in our brain and it makes us feel different, uncomfortable and leaves us with wanting to go back to the way we felt before.
If you allow yourself to reject those new feelings, then "you are headed for a release of a lot of chemicals that will reinforce who you have always been." You will not change. If however you want change then you need to be prepared to stop any automatic thoughts and "feel very uncomfortable with not being your normal, habitually thinking self."* This uncomfortableness is what prevents us from change.
Being able to deal with a short period of being uncomfortable is all it takes to begin the process of change.
The big question is how do we overcome this overwhelming desire to stay in a comfortable state?
It takes an understanding of what is actually happening to us in that time of transition, what the end result may be and a knowing and trust in ourselves that we will make it happen.
I found this flow chart by Robinson which makes a lot of sense:
A lot of people do not move on from the first part of change. The knowing. If this is you, then focus on the next stage. Create a desire to change. Ask yourself what this change will give you. That will be enough to create that desire and will provide a boost in your motivation.
The next step is probably the hardest of them all. The self belief. The 'I can'. This is vital to any change as you are the only one that can make it happen. Set yourself small achievable goals and you will build that confidence to succeed.
As they say 'practice makes perfect'. You may not succeed the first time but commitment and persistence will get you there.
I believe the rest will follow.
Change is something that must happen for us to evolve. Life is too short to stay 'stuck in a rut'.
Change is the necessary evil.
Veronica Wood
* (Dispenza, J. 2007, Evolve your Brain: The science of changing your mind, Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida)
** (from an article in UltraFit Magazine Accelerate)
