Are we influenced by things even when we are not aware of it? Do we take on board characteristics, traits and/or personalities of the people we surround ourselves with? Absolutely.
I live by a saying I heard a long time ago - 'You are who your friends are'. If you surround yourself with people who drag you down and drain you of energy, you will start to feel the same.
As you know, I am reading the book 'Emotional Intellegence' by Daniel Goleman and as with most of my posts, I read something that inspired to me write. The chapter discusses the social behaviour between two brothers, one 5 and one 2.5. The basic gist of this part of the chapter is that when the eldest brother gets into trouble with his Mother, the youngest tries to console him, using techniques he has learned from experiences over his short 2.5 years. When the Mother has had a gut full, she says to the 5 year old "Do you want me to smack you?" The 2.5 year old (also not getting anywhere with his own techniques) says to his older brother "Stop crying Len. Smack your bottom!" Hmmm I wonder where he got that from?
The 2.5 year old "is able to draw on a large repertoire of tactics, ranging from a simple plea, to seeking an ally in his mother (no help, she), to physically comforting him, to lending a helping hand, to distraction, threats, and direct commands."
From such a young age, we are like sponges, learning from what we see, hear, feel and experience. The young child above has used what he has seen and experienced in his extremely short time on this planet, and has already used this to console his brother. Amazing for a 30 month year old!
As we grow older, we are still influenced by everything around us. We may respond differently then others due to our own experiences, but we are being influenced whether we like it none the less.
Take this as an example. Have you ever noticed that if you spend a lot of time with someone who always says "like", you actually start to say it? Sometimes you don't even notice you are doing it until someone else picks you up on it. It has somehow got into your mind and into your English repertoire without you consciously thinking about it. It just gets in there!
There are so many things that can influence us as people. Take a look at the below diagram:
This diagram shows us a number of different social circles whereby we interact. We are all involved in most of these circles and therefore are influenced by them. Our interactions from these social circles build the experiences we store in our minds and are later used to create our perceptions in future interactions and experiences. Therefore the way we are influenced in these settings will dictate how we react in later situations. That is how important it is.
We are all a work in progress. It is never to late to build on the person you are to better yourself. It just takes conscious consideration to choose with whom we interact with and who and what we surround ourselves with.
As humans we are incredible mimickers. I think the lesson in this one is to surround yourself with people you look up to, can learn from and are happy to mimic subconsciously.
Veronica Wood
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